Posted on by Coach Kendra

Growth During a Pandemic

CHAPTER 3. Vulnerability

When the pandemic originally began, I, like most had a short moment of fear of the uncertainty. I remember wondering the most about what would a true lock down look like. My daughter is now between her dad and my house 50/50, so I feared what a lock down would mean in that situation. As time began to go on and days turned to weeks, like everyone, there began to be some normalcy in my life. I returned fairly quickly to doing my “Monday Hour 1” in which I planned for my entire week including my down time first thing Monday morning. I have actually really become better at honoring my own time during this pandemic. I feel like I can trust myself more because I have had over a month of being consistent and doing exactly what I say I am going to do, even when I don’t feel like it and Netflix seems like a better option. When I look back over the last 2 months, I amaze myself in who I have become. I am impressed with the amount of vulnerability I have been willing to experience. It wasn’t long ago that I would hesitate to even post something on Facebook for fear of what others may say, think, do, or worst of all not say. I held myself back for so long by telling myself stories of what each one of my Facebook “friends” would do if I posted something that didn’t make sense, seemed “outside of my lane”, or that just seemed salesy/pushy.

I would type something up and then delete it. Numerous times it would take me an hour or longer to end up posting a total of 10 words to social media. I was stuck spinning in shame. Through coaching from myself and my life coach, I got unstuck and out of my own head. Just like that, I had agreed to do a zoom 4-day mini series (WHICH WAS AMAZING). I had a very dedicated group show up every single day wanting more of what I had to offer. When I finally put myself aside, I was able to be the coach that I am meant to be. One thing I know for certain is – IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. When we think things are about us that’s when we get stuck and sometimes can’t even function, like I did when it came to social media. When I realized it’s not about me all of a sudden the possibility of what can be done through me skyrocketed. I just did an encore of my mini series on relationships this time through Facebook live. And although the video was choppy and cut out I am beyond proud of myself and the growth I have made throughout this pandemic. Oh, and did I mention I have an absolutely amazing website now?! šŸ™‚ I love what I do. Being able to create my life on my terms and living each day intentionally is one of the best things I have ever experienced. When you are ready to experience it, I’ll be right here ready for you. šŸ™‚

Posted on by Coach Kendra

Living Life Intentionally

CHAPTER 2. in with the new

April 30th… when that became the new date to look forward to- when the world would possibly return to the normal we knew – I began to think hard on what I’d want to come of this time. When life finally does return to somewhat normal, will I look back and regret not taking advantage more of this time we are currently given?

So, I decided I was going to start making new connections with people and building new relationships, where there are no strings attached. So often we go into relationships, or meeting people with an agenda, and I wanted to make sure that these new relationships were clean and agenda free – no intention to find players, no intention to talk basketball, and no intention to sell anything. All just wanting to know WHO the other person is.

Over the last 2 weeks I have been reaching out to women through Facebook messenger requesting to speak with them to get to know them more. Yes, I have had some push back and many people completely ignore me all together, which is completely fine and to be expected, but OMG, those that took the time to get back to me -I can’t say THANK YOU enough. Throughout this time of me reaching out I have met some AMAZING young women who are doing such incredible things! It has been so inspiring and uplifting to experience talking to each and every person who has agreed to take the time for me, especially me being a complete stranger. I have learned just how many absolutely wonderful people are all just a click away. I will continue to reach out and I am so excited to continue to keep in touch with some of the most amazing women I have ever met. – THANK YOU!

Posted on by Coach Kendra

Coaching Through a Pandemic

What?. From Cloud 9 to _________.

I don’t think anyone in the world could have seen this coming. A virus. Something that can’t even be seen has shut the WORLD down. The day to day as we knew a month ago, no longer exists. In time it may return but one thing that this pandemic has proven to be certain is, ALL we have is right now. As I currently sit here in day 23 of stay at home, the last month has been a complete whirlwind of emotions. With basketball, we won our Regional Championship on March 6th, just barely a month ago we were on cloud 9, celebrating that we (Central Arizona College) would finally be returning to the NJCAA National Tournament, this year set to be in Lubbock, TX. The official bracket would be released on March 9th, so we excitedly waited to find out what seed we were going to draw.

The rush of tasks that needed to be completed would be sent as soon as bracket was announced. We would need to send the official roster, team photo, individual photos, highlights. We would need to upload our last game, get the hotel confirmed, get the bus scheduled and confirmed. There would be so many things to do in this short amount of time before we would be departing on March 14th. We planned for a time where friends, family and fans could all come to see the bus off to Lubbock at 2:45pm, March 14th. When they announced us as the very last team in the bottom right of the bracket, WE WERE READY, to say the least! We were set for the first round to be a bye and we even prepared for an extremely late tip off time 9:30pm the first game played. We were ready to practice later knowing we needed to adjust. But all of that changed…

Photo by veeterzy on Pexels.com

WTF.

On March 12th, the NJCAA National Tournament was postponed. We were disappointed but not distraught because we knew we would still have a chance… just when everything cleared up.

As our players took some much needed rest, on March 16th, the NJCAA announced they had decided to cancel this year’s national tournament.

This was devastating. It was a blow that we feared would be coming in light of recent events, but we hoped for our players sake that their efforts of the season, going 28-3 overall and 22-0 in conference would give them a chance at competing for the title. We hoped that it was all a dream.

But of course, it wasn’t.

Our players all went home, or were already there, and classes would resume in a couple weeks online for the remainder of the semester.

And just like that, the season was officially over… WTF!

CHAPTER 1. Moving Forward

As we now enter our 23rd day of stay at home, I reflect on the last couple of weeks and the point when reality sank in that THIS is the new normal. On April 1st, I looked at my calendar and it truly hit me that we have an entire month (at least) where stay at home orders will be in place. At that realization, I asked myself “when this is all said and done, what do I want to get out of this time?”

It is so easy to adjust to working at home and just doing your job and letting time just pass you by. I knew for sure that what I don’t want, is the day that stay at home orders get lifted for me to feel like there was so much more that I could have done during this time and I just wasted it away. At that moment, I decided I was going to make it my mission to connect and take the opportunity to reach out to start building some AMAZING new relationships. So here we are…

If I have not had an opportunity to connect with you, yet please feel free to contact me through Facebook messenger so we can have a conversation, I would love to get to know you!

WARNING!!! If you are contacting me for any other reason than a genuine friendly get to know you relationship, PLEASE do not contact me. I am not looking for a date and neither are you (you are just bored – read a book, I can recommend some great ones lol). Thank you, have a great day!

Posted on by Coach Kendra

Motherly Love

It’s been a long time since I’ve woke up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep. But this morning 4am here I am, laying wide awake. The thoughts coming up for me make me sad. They make me question myself and my actions because all I ever want to do is protect. Protect this little girl with everything in me.

Let me back up…

For well over a year my daughter has spent the majority of her time with me. Recently, as legal proceedings have begun finishing up, there has finally been a 50/50 agreement. Now, in the state of Arizona (I’m not sure how it works in other states) if there is a child involved in any legal matter, the adults have to attend a parenting class. When I attended the parenting class, I’m not going to lie, I felt I should’ve been teaching it. Nonetheless, they brought up very good points, highlighting that the best way to raise an emotionally healthy child is for the parents themselves to be emotionally healthy. I absolutely agree and feel good about this. The class also informs you that even if your child is an infant, they still will be and are affected by this process.

My daughter was 5 months old when me and her dad separated. Hard to believe she would really be affected by it emotionally anytime soon because she was so young.

Fast forward to today….

In our agreement each parent alternates weekends. So, this weekend was the first weekend she was not with me. When I picked her up from school I could tell immediately the need for comfort from me to just reassure her she was my baby. She snuggled up in my arms right away as we exited her school. I know what you may be thinking, “ok, and?!” But tonight, that’s what’s got my mind trying to take over. She has woken up twice calling out for me. The most recent time wanting to snuggle up in my arms to ensure I was really here with her. For a moment I begin to question, a tear runs down my face. It hits me, now’s the time that she begins to be affected by something she has had no control over. She didn’t choose this, and it’s not her fault.

But then I take a deep breath and I begin to coach myself.

Just like this is a part of my journey, this is now a part of her journey. As a parent we want to protect our children from everything bad that we possibly can. We want them only to experience the good in the world because we want what’s best for them. And we never ever want to be the source of any hurt for them. But, what if it’s ok? What if we are able to allow our children to have their experiences just as we had and have ours. That’s what life is about, isn’t it? What we can do is show up in a loving way for them. I get to love on this little girl and be there always, ready to support. I can’t change her journey – this is a part of her journey – but I can control how I show up in it for her. And that’s the best news ever! – until next time, give yourself permission to allow others to have their journey. KA

Posted on by Coach Kendra

Relationships Part 3

When there is nobody else around, who are you always with? Yes, that’s right yourself. I’m here by myself thinking about how my relationship is with myself. I will start by saying that I haven’t always had a good relationship with myself. I, at times thought that me “holding myself to the highest standard” was beneficial to me. But at the time, the opposite was actually true. The thought that I had to be the best and couldn’t mess up, was causing me to beat myself up when things didn’t go the way I thought they should.

When I learned how to have compassion for myself, it was a GAME CHANGER! I couldn’t believe what possibilities I could see when I stopped fighting with reality. Telling myself I shouldn’t have done something or I should’ve done it differently was of ZERO benefit to me.

Why is it that we can show compassion for another human that we don’t even know, yet we think we have to be beyond ruthless to ourselves OR ELSE! Out of all the things I have learned in my life, learning how to be compassionate towards myself is probably one of the absolute best. – until next time, try compassion towards yourself.

Posted on by Coach Kendra

Relationships Part 2

This week I have been trying to really focus on my relationships. I have been taking the time to see where I am with them and if I’m ok with what I come up with. As mentioned in my last post, relationships are simply our thoughts about someone else. Becayse of that, I know I have the power to change any of my relationships if I don’t like it at the moment.

All my life I’ve been known as that friend who kind of just did what I wanted. When I would go home from college, many times I would only tell one or two of my friends that I was back. I did that because honestly, I didn’t want to have to spend all my time going from place to place to see everyone in the short visit I had away from my normal nonstop college-athlete life. My thoughts at the time were that “I have too many friends to visit in such a short time, and if I tried, it would be a burden to me and my time.” Those thoughts made up my relationships, and as you can guess I never really prioritized my friends and those friendships didn’t really last.

Now that I understand that all of my relationships are simply my thoughts about the other person, I have been able to cherish my friendships in a way I’ve never imagined. I know that I have a choice with how I show up in my friendships and it all starts with my thoughts about the other person. This has resulted in me being able to have an appreciation for them being exactly who they are.

I think many times we lose touch with friends and blame it on distance or just life. But I want you to always remember it is our thoughts that make up our relationships. And that’s awesome news!!! If we want to have GREAT relationships despite distance or time, we each have the ability to do so! So, until next time – enjoy creating the relationships you want, all from within.

Posted on by Coach Kendra

Relationships Part 1

Relationships are a very funny thing. We try to make them so complicated but in reality they are very simple. A relationship is simply: our thoughts about another person.

Recently, I began reflecting on my relationship with my daughter and my mom. I was a nightmare of a child because I often just said what was on my mind with zero filters. I love my mom, always have – my behaviors just didn’t necessarily always reflect that to her. Now that I have my own daughter of course the thoughts come about how things would go if my daughter behaved the way I did.

The great thing about relationships being just our thoughts about the other person, is that I get peace of mind of knowing that no matter what she could possibly do, I can always feel however I want about her. As a parent yes, I will help to teach her things but I get to love her no matter what she does or ever says. And that thought alone makes me extremely happy. – until next time, remember you get to decide what your relationships are.

Posted on by Coach Kendra

My First Blog Post

Learning from within…

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

ā€” Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. Iā€™m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

Posted on by Coach Kendra

Who Am I?

Welcome, welcome, welcome!!! I am so excited to be launching this new blog for you all but more importantly, I am really doing this for me! Through this blog you will hopefully get a small taste at the power that is within you. I recently completed a 2 minute teaching video for YouTube and from that I decided to continue to post short digestible teaching videos on YouTube, start a blog (here we are), and also figure out how to begin the podcast I’ve been wanting to start for a while. So, who am I? I am Kendra Aaron, a Life Coach, a College Basketball Coach, a Mom, a YouTuber, a Blogger, a Podcaster, and a complete Bada**. Will I fall? Yes. Will I embarrass myself at times? Probably. Will I succeed? Absolutely, and hopefully you will get to see it all. Besides, what’s the worst that can happen? I’m willing to find out!

This blog will teach you tools and concepts in a very short condensed form. If you want more information on topics, I would recommend the podcast as a go to for you. Additionally, if you are looking to really dive in, get your mind uncluttered, and start really seeing the power you have within, you can connect with me and we can set up a coaching session. Ultimately, for this blog I will show you how I am applying my coaching to my own day to day, minute to minute life. Many times as I type, I may be still realizing the power I have within. So if you are ready… I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be. – Let’s have some fun!